Suicide For Love In Relationships : The Causes, Effects And Prevention

The following cases of suicide for love, are based on real events that actuallly occured as a result of relationship disputes , strains and challenges. 

Case 1:

In June 2013,  Jiah Khan a well known Indian actress ,committed suicide in Mumbai India by hanging herself . She was found dead in her flat at the Sagar Sangeet residence. It was believed that she was murdered by her boyfriend till her suicide note was found. Jiah Khan on the outside was cheerful, outgoing and indeed social. Little did close friend know what really went on in her mind concerning her, relationship with her boyfriend Suraj Pancholi. An excerpt from her suicide note to her boyfriend reads as follows: 

"About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you to feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood"

Case  2:

December 2013, Tao Hsiao 38 from China, had a dispute with his over demanding and controlling girlfriend, who he couldn't bear anymore.  After she kept shouting at him and calling him a miser,  his best bet at that moment was suicide by jumping over a balcony.   

source: mailonline 


Case 3 :

January 14 , 2016: Suk Yin Cheng 20 a promising fashion designer feared loosing her boyfriend khali Mohammed 22, to an islamic wedding arranged for him, killed herself because she couldn't bear loosing him.  Khali said his girlfriend looked quiet happy when her saw her before her reported suicide. She stepped in front of an oncoming lorry  and ended her life swiftly. 

source: mailonline

These are actual events of famous and average people that obviously became fed up and frustrated when the relationship seem to have reached the end of the road for them. Deciding upon themselves that they cannot bear or tolerate it any longer, they resorted to suicide as the only means to escape the bells of depression and anger that kept ringing in their heads. 

In General, What Could Drive An Individual To Commit Suicide In A Relationship?

A sane person is still capable of  committing  suicide, but no happy person can commit suicide.  Depression and anger must be present in the equation for an individual to see suicide as the only solution after consideration of all other possible solutions. 

When considering Jiah Khan's suicide note excerpt in the case  2 above. It's easy to see that Jiah was clearly filled with emotional pain and could no longer drive away negative feelings from her thoughts therefore death became a means to take away the burden so she resorted to suicide. 

Anything negative in a relationship is suicide capable especially when such negativity is very active and constant in a relationship between two people. In a marriage, a constantly nagging and abusive  wife could lead to her husband's suicide considering Tao's case. Heartbreak is the most comon of suicide cases reported, especially cheating. When an individual doesnt see the need to move on any more with the relationship,  especially when they've given their best so that their relationship strives.  

Just like you believe you would go to bed tonight and see the sun tomorrow, that's just the way some lovers believe that relationships are meant to be and when this belief alters in their relationship, pain, disbelief, depression and suicide is very likely. 

As detailed by Researchers; 

20 suicide notes written by people who attempted suicide with 20 notes written by people who successfully killed themselves. The notes were evaluated on 5 dimensions: sense of burden (would my loved ones be better off without me?), sense of emotional pain (how much suffering is in my life?), escaping negative feelings (is death the answer to ending this pain?), altered social world (is death the answer to my troublesome social relationships?, and hopelessness (is there evidence that life is going to get any better?).

It's quite obvious that such people who committed suicide successfully or attempted suicide see themselves as a burden to their partners and would rather not be anymore. They also have this general idea that death would be the sure end to their mental struggles. 

One thing we must understand is that pain is not the only  driving force that leads people to suicide in their relationship. The real reason thay actually attempt suicide or succeed is that they do not see any reason at all to remain alive when the only person who the belive have made them happy deep down in their hearts, no longer want to be with them. 

Another driving force that could lead a person to suicide is anger and frustration considering Case  2. Hsiao couldn't bear the nagging and insulting  attitude of his  girlfriend. This anger and the fact that he must have always been unlucky in relationships at 38 drove him to his design his own death. She was obviously the one in control of the relationship and frustrated him even more with her extreme  nagging and demanding attitude. 

 Drug Overdose, Hanging, Gunshots Or Even Poisoning. If they are strong enough to follow up with this dreadful processes leading to their death, why couldn't they gather such strength to move on with another relationship? 

Knowing that this is the final act of life, combining their pain ,  intense depression , frustration and unwillingness to remain alive due to their being insignificant, they are capable of suicide. But researchers believe that people who have a history harming themselves wouldn't see suicide as a challenge. Such examples are;

• people who always get into fights easily 
• people who have body piercings and tattoos 
• people involved in violent and extreme sports and shooting guns
• people who don't fear self injury

All this examples expose such persons to constant pain and the more they are exposed to pain, the more pain tolerant they become. 

People who have committed suicide most times before their deaths are usually calm, happy and act normal an example in case  3. Cheng's boyfriend acknowledged that she was quiet happy when he saw her before her reported suicide. 

Most people who commit suicide give no warning signs what so ever, so it's quiet difficult to decide if an individual is prone to suicide or capable of committing suicide when frustrated, depressed or heartbroken in a relationship. Yet, very few  people drop hints before their actual suicide.

What Are The Suicidal Hints??

•They say good bye directly or indirectly for no justifiable reason at all

•They begin to give away their things that normally they wouldn't dare give out or let anyone touch

•They never talk about the future and even if they do, they see it as hopeless

•They ask about or do personal research of dangerous and lethal drugs and objects capable of harm

Some talk about suicide or indirectly say they don't see the need to be alive, but usually there are no warning signs. 

Preventing Suicide In A Relationship

The only way suicide can be prevented is if this warning signs are detected promptly and taken very seriously. You must confront such person who you might think is suicidal in a relationship after a heart break or just depressed. Never put away talking about suicide if you detect these signs or if you think such a person might just be capable of suicide. Jiah and Suk were claimed by suicide so as thousands and thousands of heartbroken lovers. 


When talking to such a suicide prone individual;

•Be a good listener rather than do too much convincing, let them off load their hearts to you. No matter how it might sound, or negative it might seem, listen. 

• When you decide to chip in, never make them feel they are alone but rather site examples if possible imaginary examples,about people with thesame relationship challenges as them who overcame it. 

• Show them that ray of hope. That's what they want to see and then show them how their presence and importance is still needed. 


You Must Never .....

•Argue or interrupt them when they speak.

•If they give you instances never take sides or fault them in support of their partners. 

•Never underestimate intentions of one who tells you they just might commit suicide. Take everything intention very seriously. 

Best advice for those who know they are suicidal for love is to avoid being In loveless relationships for too long. Once it is detected that your partner is no longer interested in moving on with the relationship or there is no more chemistry,  you must quit or else someone is sure going to get hurt.  If you see suicide as an option, people would still move on without you so it's never worth it.